Xmas Special! ๐๐ต๐ซ Spilling Some Tea w the hubs! ๐ Digital Nomad Drama + sorry, Iโm aromantic ๐
Come Say Hi! ๐๐ผย @dontbestrangers
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Welcome back to another Xmas special on this podcast Don't Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations for learning from friends and strangers alike on how to create agency in your life and deepen your connections with everyone you meet. This is yet another experimental off-format episode, but I posted a screenshot of this really direct text response to this dude in my instagram stories and my friends all reached out to send me love. Some asked for more context... and while I am normally not someone who ever feels the need to bother others with my personal problems... Iโve really been digging into this idea of vulnerability and authenticity.
If you're new here, the normal episodes run as chill conversations between me and a co-host about any topic of our choosing. But today... I'm spilling some tea on drama that occurred the last weekend I was out of town in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. The irony of all this is that all of these events occurred as I was editing and publishing the last Xmas special episode where I had a blast of a conversation with my husband and my sister... and I was sort of using that episode to dispel the bad vibes from the events of what we'll speak about on this episode...
But before we jump to the meat of this conversation, I wanted to share that Iโm officially launching this Pen Pals Club Iโve been hyping up these last few months!! You have until end of day Christmas to join us for our kick off of 2022 with the first round in Jan! This pen pals club is truly unique because the community will kinda of vet itself for type of participants and could-be friends youโll be making. You know that theyโre already into deep conversations because they listen to this podcast, they like introspective questions, and theyโre fellow students of life who are open-minded and optimistic. How this will work is that...
you sign up by the 25th of any given month to join in the next monthโs round
on theย 1stย of every month, you will receive email instructions for the month which includes:ย (1) the journal promptย (inspired by questions asked on the podcast) as well asย (2) your 2 digital penpal partners
someone who you will write to and...
someone who will write to you!
Yes, this is a whole-community experience... hence when Iโm choosing to line us up in a circle rather than pairing people off exclusively. This is also a digital pen pal club because I didnโt want to make it region locked with there being so many issues with the mail, but you are still encouraged to write your response to the journal prompt with pen and paper and to attach this to the emails. And, there is a $5 monthly subscription for this. That way, not only do I know exactly whoโs participating month-to-month, but for those who join, I trust that you have committed to actually answering the journal prompt and actually sending out your emails. Iโm someone whoโs totally guilty of signing up for all the free things and then not necessarily pulling through sometimes because youโre just tired and it was optional anyways...
So for less than a price of a latte per month โ๏ธ you willโฆ
have access to an entire community of empathetic, introspective, and adventurous friends
be personally connected to 2 membersย of the community (someone you write to and someone who writes to you)
have the opportunity to discuss in-depth, thought-provoking topics over soul-nourishing conversations
And if you ever get tired or just want a pause, you can just unsubscribe & re-subscribe any time!
So with that out of the way... letโs get back to business on this drama. For context, this recording was the first time my husband heard of the full details of why I was so irritated and enraged by the event, so it was really interesting seeing how his response kind of developed the more information he received...
I hope I don't get angry talking about this....
THE PHONE CALL โ๏ธ
Ok so why are we talking about this?
Self Subjected Long Distance + Wifi Tribe
Exactly one week ago, I called Joseph (my husband) crying that I had this semi traumatizing event happen to me... Do you remember how that conversation went?
WHAT HAPPENED (CONTEXT) โ๏ธ
Thursday... how we met.
Sunday, Beach Walk
Monday...
Read the texts.
WHY WAS THIS TRIGGERING?
Why did I have such a strong reaction?
being stereotyped and walked over because I'm polite & overly empathetic
my last relationship when I was just walked over
being desired isn't exactly a turn-off... it's being misunderstood
OUTCOMES
So truly, I suppose what was the most off-putting part about the whole ordeal was that this person was so incredibly inconsiderate of not only Joseph, but of me as well.
But, it's also a really humbling experience because it just reminds me that you're not going to vibe with everyone you meet. You don't know people's full story or context... and that's why I always give myself grace if I reach out to someone and they just don't like me โ they don't need to give me a reason โ if I give them bad vibes then, I don't want to subject them to that either. Because in his eyes, he probably was just excited to meet someone whom he thought was on the same wavelength. And when I take this into consideration, it always makes me hesitant to speak up for myself because I can always empathize with other people's point of view. But Iโm starting to realize that thereโs value in speaking up for yourself, too. Because if I want my friends to feel empowered to defend themselves when they feel wronged, how can I confidently encourage this if I myself do not demonstrate that sort of courage. So I also viewed this as great practice for me to show up authentically for myself while also giving grace to someone else. Because I didnโt want him to waste his energy on me when I simply wasnโt feeling it.
Do you have any thoughts on what happened? Have you had similar situations happen to you? If you have any feedback, I'd love to connect. You're always welcomed to reach out on the instagram page @dontbestrangers!
Thanks again for listening to this little vent and gossip radio talk show... To end this on a hopeful note, the self-induced long-distance relationship stint PLUS this unfortunate event that happened truly did strengthen our marriage because it showed cracks in our communication style which allowed us to address these issues directly. And, the more people I meet, the more certain I am that I don't want anyone else. So... all's well that ends well.
And... If youโre into deep vulnerability, thought provoking questions, and meeting new friends, donโt forget that our Pen Pals Club is always open to you. I would love to potentially write to or be written by you. Sending you all the best vibes this holiday season, and remember... don't be a stranger!