w chinese & irish creative chimera Rachel 🇨🇦🎨🧁 on struggles with social media + asking: pro-tips for getting to know your neighbors? (014)
Co-Host: Rachel @vibrantafternoon | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan
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Hi! You’re listening to episode 14 of Don’t Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations on creating meaningful connections and finding agency in your life. My name’s XinYi, and anyone of any background can apply to come co-host an episode. If you’re also into community building or love digging into topics deeply, this is my invitation to you to consider applying! Or, if you’re not ready to record a podcast, we also have a Pen Pals Club which you can learn more about on our instagram page @dontbestrangers! There, you can personally connect with like-minded students of life and potentially even personally meet past co-hosts of this show!
Today, I’m speaking with my creative chimera friend Rachel, who I met through the wonders of instagram. I remember I. was asking a stranger on instagram who were some of her favorite artistic inspirations and she mentioned Rachel’s art account! That’s how we connected and planted the seed of a very special and wholesome friendship! Rachel’s always sending me Good News articles supporting the cause of this podcast (such as studies showing the positive effects of speaking with strangers) and quietly supporting on the sidelines, so I truly didn’t except it when I received a co-host application from her. But I’m sure glad she applied.
In this conversation, we dig into... (1) what drives us to create, (2) recent moments of sweetness and joy, (3) Rachel’s struggle with social media, (4) our grocery store run strategies, and (5) our tips on how to build connections when starting over in a new stage in our life.
With that, I present to you Rachel...
Timestamps
2:46 - Q Rachel at Xinyi: As a creative chimera, to what can attribute your desire to make so many different things? 🎨
Jet program in Japan — 2014-2016
Enneagrams
Memento mori (Latin for 'remember that you [have to] die’) is an artistic or symbolic trope acting as a reminder of the inevitability of death.
9:35 - Q Xinyi to Rachel: Can you describe some moments of sweetness in your life lately? 🍦
“Just being able to hug my parents lately and being able to express to them how much I appreciate them and love them… I try to remind them that I love them every day now.”
15:55 - Q Rachel at Xinyi: What’s something, big or small, that brings pleasure to your life right now? 🥳
I’m actually a plant on legs…
Ideas of Connection & Hope
“It is glamorizing life in a way… but it makes you appreciate it more for what it is.”
“Should people share everything about their life? The answer is no — we don’t owe that to other people, ever… you don’t always want to remember all the details, or you don’t want to focus on them anyways. ”
24:34 - Q Xinyi to Rachel: Do you mind sharing more about your struggles with Social Media? 📱
“I felt obligated to post… Part of it was, I was making things and I wanted to share them with people. But, I also felt like it was more and more energy to filter the thing, to talk about the thing in the caption, and to post the thing than it was to make the thing in the first place.”
Outcomes: Setting intentions to spend less time on internet and more time with actual people.
29:34 - Q Xinyi to Rachel: New Years Resolutions? 🥂
1: make more art
2: make more time for oneself — blocking off calendar
“I should probably do this… just ahead of time… this will be art time or this will be bath time or this will be watch TV and do an embroidery time.” (Blocking off your calendar for Me Time)
36:31 - Q Rachel at Xinyi: What is your favorite childhood memory and why? 👧🏻
Stargazing
Conversation with my sister
Feeling of overcoming a challenge
39:55 - Q Xinyi to Rachel: What is your grocery store run strategy? 🛒
“I actually really enjoy going to the grocery store. I used to love, whenever I was traveling, to go to different countries and cities grocery stores… it tells you a lot about the culture, right? Like seeing how much things cost and even what’s available and what’s not available versus other countries and what’s being promoted… and even snacks.”
44:20 - Q Xinyi to Rachel: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one? ❓
Introducing self to neighbors upon moving in
Stranger Danger vs. Strangers who are well meaning
What is the spectrum between strangers and acquaintance?
“Ever since I moved here in June, I try to introduce myself to any neighbors I see in the elevator.”
“Well for me, it’s just more awkward if I’m in the elevator with someone I don’t know and we’re just quiet while it slowly goes up, so I’d rather say something.”
“Having even one neighbor in this building that I can rely on to check my mail one day if I went traveling is a really comforting thing and it makes this building feel more like home.”
Why don’t we rely on our immediate community?
53:10 - Q Xinyi to Rachel: What are some tips we can share to help close the gap between strangers? 📣
Asking questions and listening to people
Taking care of the self
“You just ask questions because people love talking about themselves. And then if you have a conversation where the other person is doing most of the talking, they’re going to come away feeling like that was a great conversation.”
“I think, too, taking care of ourselves so that when we go out into the world we’re in a positive mindset to be open to getting to know other people. Because when you’re upset about something and you’re in your head, you probably don’t feel like engaging with whomever is around you, right? Whereas if your bucket is filled… you’re probably more optimistic. One way of filling your bucket and feeling good is talking to people actually, even if you don’t feel like it in the moment. It becomes a positive cycle. ”
Having a list of questions handy for new conversations
Talk about full circle... If you enjoyed this conversation, please consider sharing it with a friend or two and potentially subscribing and leaving a review. I just found out that you can now also rate podcasts on Spotify, so if you have two seconds to drop by the Don’t Be Strangers podcast page and tap your honest star-rating, that’d mean the world to me!
And as always, the application for co-hosting can be found on the instagram page and I’d love to speak with you! Or, at the very least, I’d love to write to you if you join our Pen Pals Club!
All this and more can be found on the instagram page @dontbestrangers! If you have any thoughts or feedback on today’s episode, please feel free to write in. You can also find Rachel’s art on instagram @vibranteafternoon! Until next time, take care and don’t be a stranger!